A Feather from Heaven

It was a cold rainy day and I had been working out of my parent's house. It had only been two weeks since I buried my mother who battled pancreatic cancer and spending time at her house gave me comfort. My parents passed in the same corner of the den. My father, thirteen years before, also battled pancreatic cancer. I know what you're thinking. BOTH parents died from pancreatic cancer! It's crazy and scary. For every pain I feel, I fear the worst. Fortunately for me and my siblings the causes were environmental. It is likely the chemical, tetrachloroethylene used in his dry-cleaning plant, was responsible for my father's cancer. My mother's environmental illness was undetermined, however, if the cancer-causing chemical could have had an effect after applied to dry cleanable clothes, it certainly could have caused my mother's illness because most of the clothes she wore were dry cleanable clothes. I grew up in the same house but, I was young and did not send my clothes to be dry cleaned, often. Ultimately, we do not know the causes. Pancreatic cancer research is still ongoing.

My mother passed away on February 18th, 2018, though, it still feels like yesterday. I miss her beyond words can describe. She was my best friend. She was my sister. I had no other. We did a lot together including traveling, shopping, theatre, and eating out at our mutual favorite hot spots. Another common interest we had was meditation, and if not for the excitement I shared while researching the topic of life after death, I would not have had someone to share it with. We hired a medium in an attempt to connect with my father, but, she was a fake. I had previously been to others who hit the nail on the head but, there will always be fakes.

I share previous research on my blog, Nursing Home Drama: Diary of a Private Investigator, about what happens when a person is near death in a nursing home setting. I began researching in 2013 when my grandmother who I call Bubie, my mom's mother, was on hospice living in a nursing home at the age of 93. It's a somewhat comical diary of my daily visits and the occurrences that I witnessed around me. I also focus on my grandmother and her introduction to the end of her life.

Mom was desperate to hear from dad. The only alleged communication she received were pennies around the house in places she had not been actively using. This went on for years. And then, one day, I secretly asked out loud, to my dad, to show himself to mom to let her know that he was around her. She needed him. She missed him. Later that week mom was in bed sleeping and felt someone nearby but, she lived alone. The alarm was set. She opened her eyes and saw a dark figure standing over her. She freaked out! She hid underneath the blanket hoping they would go away, whoever it was. When she told me, she recalled details. We don't know with 100% certainty this wasn't a dream. Mom emphatically said she was awake, and it really happened. It felt real. I wasn't there and I didn't see it, therefore, I could not debunk it. I confessed to my request.

My display of confidence in there being life after death made mom a believer. She shared in my further research as I shared my further findings in my ongoing curiosity.

After diagnosis, we certainly had hope that there had been enough research leading to treatments to extend her life. The tumor was not really attached to the pancreas but, it was wrapped around the mesenteric artery near the tail end of the pancreas. Surgery was out of the question. Chemo and radiation were our only choice if we were to continue treatment. All we discussed was a positive outcome. It wasn't until hospice, a year and a half later, that she found comfort in knowing she would be seeing dad. My one request was that she contact me once she crosses over to let me know she was alright and with dad. Be convincing and believable. I needed a magical miracle. I wasn't asking for too much considering what I have read in my research. Even if that meant showing me her face in the mirror. I did not want to debunk the message.

It was two weeks after her death that I would receive that message. It was magical and could not be debunked.