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RELATIONSHIPS- It's Complicated

There are challenges to relationships that are to be expected. Without challenges, a relationship would be boring. If only one party gives and the other only takes, this could be a challenge unless it makes you happy never receiving birthday presents, special things that people do for you. The giver will either stop giving after reaching a point of extreme frustration and then complain to express their expectations. The taker will either leave the relationship or give back and meet the expectations, but only until the other party seems content or they will leave the relationship to find someone new with a giving personality. Unfortunately, it's a vicious cycle for each independently.

The taker has always been a taker, and the giver has always been a giver. They are likely not to change for anyone.

The giver will always give and the taker will always take, but as at the beginning of all relationships, it doesn't start out that way.,It's typical for both parties to give to each other. They are good listeners for each other, and communication is present. They do things for each other to nurture the growing bond. Sometimes the one who gives the most at the beginning will be the taker in the end. Takers have an outstanding talent for seeking those who seem eager to make new friends. In a new relationship of any kind, a giver and taker are naturally compatible, so everything is wonderful and each plays their role properly until the 'honeymoon' ends. There is a small percentage of givers who appear to be happy in this kind of relationship, but is it just an appearance?

Whether a friendship, professional, or a budding romance, relationships are a natural work in progress meant to strengthen over time but, not all relationships last a lifetime.

According to Aristotle, a Greek philosopher, there are three types of friendships and only one will last a lifetime. The first type is based on pleasure and utility, the second, on mutual appreciation, and the third, on virtues.

Friendship of pleasure and utility are your spouse, co-workers, classmates, your boss, your mechanic, your butcher, and your candlestick maker. It's the friendship of convenience that will end when the purpose ends.

The people you have friendships of mutual appreciation are your drinking buddy, your study buddy, and your travel companion that you see twice a year.

According to Aristotle, the friendship of virtues will be your lifelong true friends, like the frat brother who acts as your brother, the sorority sister who acts as your sister, and the friend you share a mutual unconditional love with whom is like a member of your family. People are lucky to have at least one friend of virtue. Virtue is of high moral standards. Some people go through life without. This includes your spouse if you have a genuine relationship with one another.

All new relationships are exciting! We feel positive and appreciated. When falling in love, dopamine, a chemical associated with reward, is more active that makes us feel good. I believe this is true for any developing relationship but watch out because the beginning of all new relationships that I refer to as the 'honeymoon phase' will taper off and then plateau, and some will end after the purpose has been served.

We are all on our best behavior when we meet someone new, but that's not who we are 24/7, and neither are they. After the honeymoon phase ends, we all return to being our everyday regular selves. For this reason, I encourage online daters to be true to themselves from their self-descriptions through to the date. If either party are not your genuine up front, the truth will be revealed as a relationship develops. If they do not reveal before the truth reveals itself before an emotional connection does, the relationship will suffer due to a lack of trust whereas a healthy relationship is built on trust.

If you have a question about your relationship and would like my advice, please click on my logo from the HOME or copy and page this address:

Bien à vous,


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